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Ted DeWitt-Clinton
Ted DeWitt-Clinton is a student at Lawndale High and, in "The New Kid", he was Daria's first date. By his own admission, Ted had a very sheltered childhood, being home-schooled prior to asking his parents to change to a public school. Because of this, he is portrayed as being naïve and unaware of the realities of school and normal teenage life in Lawndale. Appearances In "The New Kid", he's working on the school yearbook. He finds Daria amusing, to her bemusement, and she finds herself deliberately hanging out with him. The two also end up at war with all the popular kids at the school after Ted suggests charity activies should have space, Anthony DeMartino uses that as an excuse to cut sports and clubs, and everyone blames the weird kids for it. Ted gave Daria a necklace to show his appreciation after gave him his first bit of chewing gum. She found that, and him, overwhelming and rejected it, and when she later tried to apologise she found he turned her down: * Ted - To be honest, Daria, I think maybe you were right. We should keep our friendship on a strictly yearbook level. * Daria - Wait a minute. Are you blowing me off? * Ted - Well, my parents warned me that kids in conventional school can be kind of... shallow. * Daria - You think I'm shallow? * Ted - You sort of remind me of that really popular girl I've seen around... Quinn, I think. Do you know her? You'd probably get along. After Ted was able to drive off the Fashion Club (with subtle psychology) and Kevin (with moderate violence) at the yearbook, Daria was impressed and approached him about a pizza date at Mr Fun's Exciting World of Games. The date went wrong with Robert and other jocks decided to hassle them during a virtual reality game - and Ted ended up bonding with them through virtual violence, ending up a semi-popular person, while completely forgetting Daria was there. He shows up again uin "I Loathe a Parade", photographing Daria and Tom, for the school yearbook: "Thanks, Daria. It's for the yearbook. I'm getting some really great pictures of couples tonight." In 2001/2, Ted was the host for the Definitive Daria page "That's Dariatainment": "Hi, I'm Ted DeWitt-Clinton. As a newcomer to film and television--around my house we prefer to entertain ourselves with Balinese shadow puppetry and the recitation of twelfth century Proven�al poetry--I was recently shocked to find myself enjoying mainstream entertainment. For years I tried to "create my own fun" but really, how many chess sets can you carve from peach pits before it starts to feel pointless? (Answer: Five.) These days I occasionally allow myself to relax and enjoy a breezy situation comedy or stimulating horror motion picture. The guilt is overwhelming, but I just can't resist the kapow of a good action flick, the charge I get from watching muscle-bound wrestlers beating the cartoony crap out of each other, and most of all, the haunting allure of Charlie Rose. Those sad eyes of his have seen so much. What's happening to me? I'm sorry, I have to go. Maybe casting an army of tin soldiers will help. But don't let that keep you from enjoying this month's installment of "The Definitive Daria". Now where did I put those molds?" Family and home Ted's parents are Leslie DeWitt and Grant Clinton. It is unknown if he has any siblings. They live in a two-story house in Lawndale. Ted's parents vocally claim a dislike for modern society and its "offerings." Their house is equipped with solar panels. They plant corn, squash and beans in the front and back yards. They don't drink coffee or alcohol and do not watch television. They hate the Beatles and gum and despise Greenpeace. Ted and his father have made a wooden couch, carved from a whole tree, and built a phonograph from scratch. The two break down in tears over the fact Ted has been eating gum. Personality and Interests He has a number of cultural interests: he is interested in Viola de Gamba (The New Kid) as well as photography, having worked for the school yearbook. He also knows how to make jewelry, has taught himself to fight with swords (by reading Medieval manuscripts on swordplay), and has practiced isometric exercises, which he can use in self defense ("The New Kid"). In "The New Kid", he courts Daria after a fashion, giving her a piece of jewelry that he made himself among other things. He displays a quiet courage, resisting social pressure for his suggestion to alter the yearbook to cut clubs in favor of volunteer work and charity fund-raising. He displays an equally quiet, casual cruelty in twice-rejecting Daria. Trivia * His surname is a reference to American politician DeWitt Clinton. DeWitt-Clinton, Ted